I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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