'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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