Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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