Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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