we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
