I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
