turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
