I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
