Nicole vs. Life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
