the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
