i may or may not be watching the land before time
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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