My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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