If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
