I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress