By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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