i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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