Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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