I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
