your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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