Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
