I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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