Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
