I only kidnapped one of them. chill
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
