Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
