in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My bed smells like the plague
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
