She announced her abortion via fbk
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
