we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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