This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
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Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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