he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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