omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
