A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
