Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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