Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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