why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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