one two three fourrrrnication!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
