It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
