4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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