WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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