Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
