I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
