and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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