I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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