like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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