Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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