we're chasing vodka with high fives
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
