what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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