I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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