Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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