connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid