Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he just fucked me for my cheese..