I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me