Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time