eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
