then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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