Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
