i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
