You made me cry and you don't even care
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
