we're blogging at a bar
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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