His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
