Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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