Sry I called you an 8
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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