I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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