it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
