I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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