i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
